Ang Trahedya ni Bespren Diego

My Son, My Son
By Lino Espino

( EDITOR'S NOTE: This is an extract from the website of Torres High School Special Science Batch 1982 about a recollection of a father of his son, isang alumnus, who died because of a vehicular accident in Bulacan 4 years ago. Bagama't madamdamin ang pagsasalaysay ni Mang Lino subalit sa kabuuan ay napakaraming mga inspirasyon ang mapupulot dito. Balikan natin ang buhay ni Noe... )

Fast and Easy

Noe Gerardo, a.k.a. Bes' Pren Diego went as fast as he came. I clearly remember that warm humid night, about 8:00 pm on August 12, 1966, I waited impatiently for my wife to end teaching her evening class of dress making. She was then a vocational teacher at Torres high School, the school which all of us in the family graduated from.

As high school sweethearts, waiting in familiar turf usually gave me sense of nostalgia and brought back fond memories. But not that night. That night, my mind was fixed anticipating the new baby. I hinted fervently to my wife to hurry and wrap up her class for that evening. Though the baby she was carrying was restless and ready to come out, she finished her business, certain of her movements and her physiological needs. We took a twenty minute bumpy ride to Mary Johnston Hospital in a jeepney plying the Juan Luna St. route.

Upon our arrival, my wife was immediately taken to the delivery room. With no time lost, delivery preparations forgone, the baby was born effortlessly; Noe entered this world in such style, fast and easy.

In my own peculiar fatherly instinct, I checked the new family member in a meticulous fashion, searching for missing or excess parts or even misplaced ones. To my relief and delight, he turned out to be perfectly healthy and normal. He was so cute and chubby, with fair and clear complexion and with brown wavy "corn" hair. A bundle of joy who often flashes a smile. I chose the name Noe, inspired by a valedictorian in school. Her mother added Gerardo associating him to his guardian saint.

Noe, in his adolescence felt uncomfortable with his name. He found it weird and sort of incomplete missing out the "L" at the end. But I explained that it was a special name, a rare one. Spelled backward reads EON, meaning immeasurable length of time. I also told him if juggled further would read ONE, meaning first among peers, excellence and leadership. Also, he had the namesake of Noah of the high seas. I chose a short name for his easy writing and furthermore, since his nickname is Noy", it was a contraction of my own nickname "Ninoy". He appeared to be assured and never talked about it again.

Noe was Never a Problem Boy

He started schooling at Immaculate Conception Academy of Manila (ICAM), a private catholic school along with his all his siblings. The school only allowed boys up to Grade Four, and he had to transfer like his brother to T. Benitez Elementary School, a public school. He was the shy and polite type, always following the rules of home and school. He was chosen to represent the school and won in a Quiz Bee contest in Science and was awarded by then First Lady Imelda Marcos.
In high school, he joined the Special Science Program, a curriculum with advanced subjects. It was during this period that he developed his interest in electronics. He would dismantle parts of old telephones and cassette radios and could bug and record telephone conversations of his sisters and their suitors. This was the first sign that his creative juices were brewing. He would like to prank but never got himself or others in trouble. He also at this period developed a fondness for Boom, his dog and Chippy, a corn chip snack that he and his dog shared while watching a basketball game in TV.

He Discovered Himself and Music

Noe entered the University of the Philippines at a young age of 15 years. Still unsure whether to pursue his first choice of veterinary medicine, he shifted to and completed a more general course in AB Philosophy. Being a university scholar, and a scholar of his fraternity, the UP Beta Sigma Fraternity, he graduated and finished his course before the age of nineteen. Realizing his early completion of his degree, he decided to still take courses in UP Conservatory of Music and the College of Mass Communication.

During his early years in the university, he picked up the old abandoned guitar of his sister and started strumming it. It was at this time where his interest in music started. He studied the Jingle songbook where a guitar chord chart was attached and sang all Beatles songs he could get hold of. He developed his talent in entertaining people in parties and get togethers and became the life of parties, so he told.

Noe formed and lead a band called Dry Water. He would join school concerts and band competitions. Before we knew it, he was already a vocalist playing the electric guitar proficiently, which he learned by himself. He later would learn the piano, organ, drums and even the harmonica. He played Rock and Roll, Pop and Blues. He discovered that he could learn, do and excel in things he put his heart into.

I Took Him with Me

Harnessing his fresh mind, I ensured that he spent his school vacations wisely. I took him with me during his university summers to my various provincial trips when I was an Area Manager of Proctor and Gamble. To earn pocket money, he worked with TrailAdds as a bagger and sometimes a checker in various promotional campaigns in supermarkets. I still recall the first P1,000.00 he earned as a casual employee was spent for an electronic gadget. It was during this formative years he was introduced to the dynamics of consumer product marketing and sales.

He Took Me with Him

After finishing his university studies, he begun his corporate life with General Foods in a supervisory position a very young age in the same field of work as mine. His first assignment was in Bicol, a dissident infested area at that time. His previous summer jobs and field outings with me served him in good stead. In his work, he won awards after awards that endeared him to his superiors. So much so, that when the merger of General Foods and Kraft caused reorganization, his immediate boss took Noe with him when he transferred to Unilever.

At Unilever, his energies and creativity overflowed. He climbed the corporate ladder so fast to become a very young Sales and Marketing Manager. He was tagged a "Shooting Star", unsurpassed. But after each promotion, he would always ask himself, "where do I go from here ?"

There was a time when he invited me to Cagayan de Oro where he was then assigned. I gladly mused to myself " Now, the shoe is on the other side of the foot . . ." Now as a retiree, he now takes me on his provincial tours. It was in this place that he had his ear pierced, not once but thrice in the left lobe. I was completely aghast but when his people followed suit, I was mollified.
He was Unique and Different.

He wore earings and grew his hair long while his officemates carried the clean-cut executive image. He sported narrow short neck-ties when everybody else wore wide cravats. He donned Mexican style cowboy boots while others wore the usual leather shoes in fashion. He couldn't care less about what other people think as long as he did his job well and delivered the goods so to speak.

Simultaneously, he developed his talent in composing songs and playing with his band when time allowed. He aspired to be a rock artist and began acquiring friends in the entertainment industry. His mind was set in creating his album, with songs that he composed reflecting most of his experiences.

Establishing his own identity and character, he became a strong influence among his colleagues. He achieved his targets early in the corporate ladder but realized that the next position he eyes, the Director for Sales, will be within reach no less that ten years from that time.

Two Different Worlds

It was in 1999 that he left Unilever to join Mars Foods as the Director for Sales selling M & M chocolates and Pedigree dog food, both of which he could relate to. He was then 32. He was able to give new meaning to the sales and marketing campaigns of Mars that resulted in exceeding the targets set.

During this time, he completed his first album entitled "Mga Kantang Kanto". He adopted the screen name "Bes' Pren Diego", a name that reflects his nature and a chance to restyle his name into a common Filipino. The themes of songs he composed were down to earth and common places reminiscent of his childhood experiences in Tondo where he grew up. His posters presented him in a blurred snapshot wearing shades, betraying the beautiful eyes behind them. This was a way to temporarily conceal his identity until he can go full time with his passion. Definitely, Noe was a very handsome man. He could easily pass for a matinee idol not mentioning his disarming antics.

As he worked hard as a Sales Director during the day, he labored as hard to promote his songs in concerts and provincial tours during nights, weekends and vacations.

The Essence of Noe's Heart

Noe was a people's person. He gravitated to people as people gravitated to him. He could make people laugh and is easy to respond to a distress call. He touched the lives of the downtrodden and underprivileged. He will go out of his way, give his bottom peso, risk his well being just to help a friend. There would be instances that he would ransack our cabinet for groceries to help a fellow musician, employ a friend, a classmate or a brod to provide them with incomes to support their families. He gives out his time, his talent, even his money as easy as a river flowing out to the sea. He has a pure and generous heart.

I remember on June 24, 2000, that was on a Father's Day, Noe, together with his sister, gave me a brand new car. On November 8, 2000, learning that I suffered from a stroke, he composed a song for me entitled "Huwag Kang Bibitaw" meaning don't give up, "Hang On". He presented it to me in the hospital with a lot of colorful balloons and a funny stuffed giraffe toy.

After my discharge from the hospital, I celebrated my birthday at home. He gave me balloons, a new 21" TV with a VCD player, a cordless phone, a buzzer , a thermos, rubber grip balls, a cell phone and a walker, all presents for my convenience and well being.

Such a son's fatherly concern for his father is rarely seen. To top all these fatherly instinct, he took me out on a date on Valentine's day knowing that his mother was in Bangkok conducting a training program. We enjoyed ourselves that night. That night I could not forget.

His Plan, His Fear, His Dream

Noe planned of retiring early and going full time with his music career. But he had a bigger dream. He dreamt of serving people by running for public office. He believed that he would be effective in delivering help through public service. But all this were cut short by unexpected turn of events.

Noe was fascinated by the lives of Kurt Cobain, Jimmy Hendrix and most of all James Dean. All of them had died tragically at an early age. In a book Noe has on James Dean, it was inscripted "Live fast, die young, and have a beautiful corpse."

Could Noe had forseen his death? This makes me remember his usual remark "Papa, I'm going to die young." Nonsense, I said. I outlived my father more than 10 years and you could easily outlive me by at least 5 years to a ripe age past eighty. If it was the congenital kidney defect that worried him, I told him that I too had it since birth and could still drink a bottle of beer or two.

Noe was living at a fast pace. There was not a single moment when he was not busy. He went into scuba diving, played golf, billiards, rode a motorcycle and frequently went mountain climbing. But above all, he was most happy with his guitar, creating songs, dwelling beyond the limits of space and time.

Departure of a Friend, My Son

The final moments of his life were spent in the fast lane, literally and figuratively. Last March 4, 2001, he was coming home from a free concert in San Jose, Nueva Ecija he held the previous night. He performed with an old musician friend for a fraternity brother who opened a bistro. He brought his own instruments and sound equipment, used his resources to help a brother.

Leaving the place early in the morning, he was traveling homeward with his driver who was his high school classmate, a brod and his musician friend, with the objective of catching his 10 am flight to Bangkok for a business conference. His driver, bearing the pressure on his mind and body during the event, incurred a lapse of consciousness causing the vehicle to careen toward the opposite direction. They were struck by an on coming L-300 hitting them where Noe was sitting, at the right rear passenger seat, supposedly the safest. His vehicle turned on its side and stopped in front of Ever Memorial Gardens in Bulacan. He was taken to a provincial hospital and later expired due to internal injuries.

Recalling the inscription he made; Noe indeed lived fast, he died young, he was 34, and he was unscratched externally when he died. Definitely he had a beautiful corpse!

As wished, he was cremated. The cremator noticed that his ashes were turquoise/green, a phenomenon he observed in his 20 years of practice, were of people who were exceptionally good. His ashes were strewn in the Sea of Puerto Galera, Mindoro at the break of dawn, in a serene spot called The Coral Garden; a place all of us would join him sometime in the future.
Having Noe as a son makes me proud but at the same time humbles me. His accomplishments make me walk tall, his generosity fattens my heart, his jokes make me fall off my seat, his love touches my soul. I am humbled because I raised him to be a good man, and turned out to be a better man than most of us. Most of all, at any given time, I was always there to help him, but during his final hour, I was not there for him. Only God could give or take, only God could sow or reap, only God could call or save.

Paalam na Noe

In his final moments in the emergency room, he was heard of saying these words :

" . . . Miss, bakit ang gaganda ninyo." He saw beauty and dispalyed charm even in his final moments.

".. Mainit ba sa impyerno. . . . hindi naman siguro ako doon pupunta. . . . ". He recognizes that he is not perfect, without sin and manifested hope for salvation.

"Jesus, surrender na ako sa Iyo." He humbled and submitted himself to Jesus for His kind mercy and looked forward to meeting and seeing His face.

" . . .Nakikita mo ba ang mga butterflies... ang ganda ano . . " Noe must have been welcomed by good company, symbolized by butterflies in a beautiful way.

" . . .OK ang trip na 'to ah. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eto, nah, Ba-bye nah. . . " Noe, in his final words, was able to send a message that he was OK, that he was experiencing something good, that he was beginning a journey into another life. . . .

Finally, he said goodbye.

Hear My Prayer

Dear Lord our God, I entrust my son, Noe to You. I offer him back to You as the Precious Gift You shared with us for 34 years. Welcome into your presence my Noy, your son, and be kind to him. Forgive him from all his mistakes, and shine on him eternal light and peace. Please allow him to entertain You with his songs and extend Your patience with him. Always keep him in Your warm care and embrace him with Your love, as his Father in Heaven. . . . Ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya.

My son, my son, my love for you is beyond space and time . . . beyond my life, my existence . . . 'till we meet again.

( Courtesy of ssbatch82.com )