Advise for the Young and the Young at Heart

“What is love?” I bet you’ve heard this question gazillion times before since kindergarten. From slum book, to slumber parties-- from high school to few more years after that, the answer to this question seems to make us blush, especially the ones we wrote as a child.

But as we grow older, the definition of love grew complicated. Gone are the days where furtive glance makes your heart skip a beat and a kiss in the forehead is romantic – where the farthest we can go is to hold hands and still feel bliss. Unfortunately, the definition of love to some nowadays have been dictated by lust, distorted by commercialism and passivity.

I believe this is what happens when we grew out of our innocence when all the while the definition still stands. God is love. And if God is love, we would understand His definition of love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)”

Love is patient. Did you ever wonder why patience is associated with love? Because love takes time, it grows on you. It is not something you rush. This is why our Catholic Christian faith believes in sexual purity before marriage. Not just to save us from sexually transmitted diseases, untimely pregnancies or emotional stress in case of a break-up, but first and foremost, it is God’s will that we stay pure. “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God (1 Thess 4:3-5)”

“The soul is willing but the flesh is weak” That’s what I heard mostly when people are asked for their commitment on abstinence. In our society where virginity is on its rarity, and even considered laughing stock or freakish in nature, it is definitely not an easy task to do. But we are not helpless. We can do as much to avoid potential occasions that will lead to sexual impurity:

1. Let us be spiritually active. We must serve in the Church, read God’s words and continue to pray to God for guidance. No temptation can overcome us if we are continuously armed with His words and reminded of our commitment to Him to remain pure. Surrounding ourselves with friends who share the same high morals will help us to feel supported in our resolve to remain pure.

2. When dating, we must confine our interactions with our date on public places. The best way to avoid temptation is to avoid tempting situations. When we are alone in private with someone new that we are very attracted to, it is much more difficult to decline a sexual advance.

3. Let us guard our emotions. We are most vulnerable when our self-esteem and self-worth are at a low point. We need to find healthy ways to boost our ego, instead of sex. There are many things that we can do that will help us feel good about ourselves.

4. Let us guard our actions. We need to avoid being sexually flirtatious or having explicit conversations about sex. Whether we just want to be ‘into’ the conversation just to fit in or not, this kind of conversation and flirtatiousness sends the wrong message. It says that we are open to it, and willing to get on to it given the chance.

5. Let us be aware of what we wear. Obviously, this one applies mainly to women. Revealing clothes (i.e. super short skirts/dresses, super tight pants/skirts/dresses, tops/dresses that reveal bulging cleavage, etc.) also send the wrong message. The sexy clothes imply, "I’m trying to make myself as sexually attractive as possible so that you will jump my bones." Maybe you really don’t mean it to seduce and you just want to be fashionable, but it is difficult for a man to concentrate on our inner beauty when our exterior is screaming.

6. Limit alcohol consumption. Alcohol slows down the brain activity that controls judgment and inhibitions. It makes us more aggressive, self-disclosing and sexually daring. Whatever urges we feel when sober, we are more likely to act upon if intoxicated. I always saw this happening in movies. Girl and boy gets drunk, goes to bed and regretted it the next day.

7. Limit on how much ‘alone’ time you spend with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Keep all our friends and all our activities even though we may have to juggle our schedule a little more. Limiting time with our special someone limits sexual possibilities. We need to explain this commitment to our special someone to avoid misunderstanding. If we love our partners, we would not want to do something that will hurt the other person or violate our relationship.

8. Set a curfew. Don't have open ended dates. Don't linger past the time you have set for yourself. Don't fall asleep watching movies together in your living room because that leads to a familiarity that may be dangerous.

9. Let us watch what we watch, read and hear. Let us be careful which movies/videos/TV we choose to see either while dating, as well as the things we read or see in the internet. I believe this is one of the most common temptations that we ought to think as 'harmless'. But in reality, this will not help us maintain sexual purity as this might grow into bigger proportions. Before we know it, we might be constantly led to more of it drawn by curiosity. We have to be aware of our own limitations; if you find that certain programs or commercials turn you on, turn them off. Certain music is the same way so it's best to keep a guard over what you listen too also.

10. Avoid daydreaming. Daydreaming is wasteful at best and dangerous at worst. Daydreaming is a set up for frustration and opens our minds to laziness. An undisciplined mind can hatch up all kinds of things which easily turn into sin. Daydreaming or fantasizing about sex is the first step in the process of sexual arousal. If we focus our thoughts on sex, we will sabotage our decision to remain abstinent.

To remain sexually pure, we need to be constantly on guard and surround us with friends with common moral commitment. There are also available resources and communities online which could help us to further grow our understanding of chastity:

• http://www.chastity.com - Led by the Pure Love Club which is the chastity outreach program of Catholic Answers, based in San Diego, California. Catholic Answers was founded in 1982, and is now one of US largest lay-run apologetics and evangelization organizations

• http://www.wagmuna.com/ - Composed of Filipino youth volunteers from all over the country whose aim is to connect people with God and His ultimate plan for purity.

To maintain a chaste life is indeed a constant struggle but as St. Josemaria Escriva said, “When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden to you; it will be a crown of triumph”


Resources:


http://www.singlesworkshops.com/HowtoStaySexPure.htm
http://www.hannahscupboard.com/ST-purity.html
http://www.truelovewaits.org.za/page_faq.html

Yasia Fiesta!

By Grace Madrinan




Pwede pala yun, masakit ang katawan mo, ngalay ang paa mo at nagkandaubo-ubo ka na pero masaya ka pa rin...at kung may pagkakataon, gugustuhin mo itong ulit-ulitin


Ganito ang naramdaman ko sa nakaraang pagbubukas ng ika-5 Asian Youth Day nung ika-23ng Nobyembre, taong kasalukuyan, na ginanap sa liwasan ng Katedral ng Imus. Ang aming choir ng Immaculada Concepcion ng Dasmarinas, kasama ng iba pang choir sa Cavite (Himig Agustino ng Tanza at UHAY ng Molino) ay mapalad na naging bahagi ng pagtitipon bilang Asian Youth Day choir.

Di naging madali ang aming trabaho. Ilang linggo ding pag-eensayo ang aming binuno para lamang aralin ang ilang awiting pang-Misa. Karamihan pa ng mga awit ay nasa Latin, na bukod sa mahirap nang kantahin ay mahirap pang bigkasin. Lahat ng ito ay para masiguradong sagrado ang Misa at pagdiriwang ng okasyon.



At naging sulit naman ang lahat. Pagbungad ko pa lamang sa liwasan at masilayan ang entablado at lugar kung saan magaganap ang lahat, naramdaman ko na isa ito sa mga araw na di ko malilimutan.



Mga bandang ika-apat na ng hapon nang nagsimula nang magtipun-tipon ang mga kasama sa programa, panauhin at mga pari. Bakas din sa kanila na ang kasiyahan sa pag-aabang sa pagdating ng mga delegado na nagkakarakol nang mga oras na iyon mula sa isang kalapit na paaralan.



Maya-maya lamang ay nagsidatingan ang mga delegado mula sa iba't-ibang probinsya sa Pilipinas pati na rin sa kalapit na bansa sa Asya: China, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Macau, Taiwan, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Thailand, Vietnam, Brunei, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Timor Leste, Bangladesh, India, Nepal, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kazakhstan, Kyrjyzstan, Mongolia, Siberia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, at iba pang delegasyon mula sa ibang kontinente (Australia, Germany, France, the Netherlands). Nakakatuwang pagmasdan ang mga kabataang, iba't-iba man ang lahi na pinagmulan, ay nagkakatipon para sa iisang misyon: ang isabuhay ang at maging alagad ng Salita ng Diyos.



At ilang saglit lamang ay nagsimula na ang Banal na Misa. Nalula ako sa dami ng mga pari at obispo na dumalo. Ang Lubhang Kagalang-galang Cardinal Gaudencio Rosales ang unang bumati at mainit na sumalubong sa mga delegado. Sinabi niya na malapit sa puso at lubos na kinagigiliwan ng Diyos ang mga kabataan -- na karamihan ng mga aral at milagro ni Jesus ay para sa kanila.



Naging mataimtim at sagrado ang Misa gaya ng inaasahan. Lalo akong naantig nung nagsimula ng homilya si Bishop Luis Antonio Tagle. Sinimulan nya ito sa pamamagitan ng pagsasabing lubhang malaking biyaya ang natanggap ng Pilipinas at ng Cavite dahil sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay itinanghal na CNN Hero of the Year ang isang kabataan at isa ring Caviteno na si Efren Penaflorida. Ito ay isang napakagandang balita at akmang pambungad sa aming pagdiriwang ng 5th Asian Youth Day.

Sinabi rin ni Bishop Tagle na ang pagbasa at Mabuting Balita nang araw na iyon ay tila akma sa tema ng 5th Asian Youth Day na "Young Asians, come together. Share the Word, live the Eucharist". Ang unang pagbasa na hango sa Aklat ni Propeta Daniel ay tungkol sa apat na kabataang lalaki na naging tapat sa kanilang pananampalataya at napili ng Hari ng Judah bilang tagapayo dahil sa kanilang angking katalinuhan sa anumang larangan. Habang ang Mabuting Balita naman mula kay Lukas, ay tumutukoy sa paghahambing ni Jesus sa mga mayayaman at balo na nagkakaloob ng donasyon sa templo - na bagama't malaki ang binibigay ng mayaman, ay maituturing na higit ang pinagkakaloob ng balo sapagkat binigay nya ang lahat, mula sa kanyang kaunting ikinabubuhay.



Mula sa mga pagbasang ito, hinikayat ni Bishop Tagle ang mga kabataan na maging aktibo sa Simbahan at gamitin ang kakayahan para mapalaganap ang Salita ng Diyos. Binalaan nya rin ang mga pari na huwag maging katulad ng mga Pariseo na nananamantala ng mga balo, na sa halip na tulungan ay inuubos ang ikinabubuhay nito. Sinabi niya na marami ang mga kabataang nagmamasid sa kanila at naghahanap ng magandang halimbawa.



Sa pagtatapos ng kanyang homilya, binigyang diin niya na di na iba si Jesus sa mga Asyano, sapagkat Siya mismo ay isang Asyano. Ipinanganak si Jesus, namuhay, nagturo, gumawa ng milagro sa lupa ng Asya. Kung iisipin, pati si Maria, Jose, Abraham, Moises at halos lahat ng prominenteng tauhan sa Bibliya ay mga Asyano. Kung gayon, nararapat lamang nating ipagdangal nang buong puso ang ating pagiging Asyano. Muntik na akong maluha nang mga sandaling ito sapagkat noong una’y di ko napagtanto na si Jesus ay kapatid ko rin bilang Asyano.



Nagpatuloy ang Misa sa Panalangin ng Bayan na binasa ng piling delegado mula sa iba't ibang bansa, gamit ang kanilang sariling wika.



Ang Paghahandog din ay ginawa ng ng piling delegado mula sa iba't ibang bansa dala ang kanilang alay. Magandang pagmasdan sila habang suot nila ang kanilang katutubong kasuotan. Habang nagaganap ang pag-aalay, ito ay sinasaliwan ng tugtog gamit ang flute, violin at piano.



Sa pagtatapos ng Misa, opisyal na binuksan ng Pangulo ng Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, Archbishop Angel Lagdameo ang 5th Asian Youth Day. Ilang saglit pagkatapos nito ay muling inawit at isinayaw nang sabay-sabay ang theme song na Yasia Fiesta. Sadyang nakakatuwang pagmasdan ang masayang pakikilahok ng lahat mula pari, madre at mga kabataan -- talagang piyesta!



Ang Misa ay sinundan ng isang makulay na programa na nagtanghal ng iba't ibang katutubong sayaw at awitin mula sa iba't-ibang rehiyon ng Pilipinas. Di ko man napanood ang kabuuan ng programa, damang-dama ko habang papalayo ang kakaibang kasiyahang maging bahagi ng isang ganitong pagdiriwang. Napatunayan ko na tunay na may pag-asa pa sa ating kabataan, kailangan lamang tuklasin ang sariling galing, maging magaling na pinuno at humanap ng magandang huwaran. Dahil dito, lalong tumibay ang aking pagnanais na mas makapaglingkod pa sa ating Simbahan at sa kapwa kahit sa ano mang mumunting paraan. Yasia Fiesta!